Night of rants

OK, tonight is going to be all about rants and things that annoy me. At least I can get them off my chest and not go on a rampage or something. If you aren't interested just keep on trucking.

Why is everyone is a huge hurry all the freaking time? Whenever I drive anywhere I have people right on my ass because I'm not moving fast enough for them. I always go 5 over whenever I'm driving so it's not like I'm holding them up or anything. Not only that but people are in a hurry for everything. Not calling them back fast enough, not helping them fast enough, it takes 30 seconds to get my happy meal from the Window at Fatdonald's and that isn't fast enough. Gah! Shut up and quit wasting so much time trying to hurry all the freaking time. Appreciate the fact that you're alive.

Another thing, what is up with people not pulling over for emergency vehicles? It's an epidemic from what I can tell. Now when I pull over I'm in the minority, which just makes me sick. I think emergency vehicles should be equipped with some type of device that can destroy these people who don't move over. We'll call it thinning the herd. In fact, there's no reason that this can't be extended to good samaritans provided we promise to use it only when it's appropriate. I swear, that's when I'll use it. Just when people don't pull over, and when people are on my ass for not driving fast enough.

Another thing, why do radio stations play a tidbit of a song during a commercial for themselves? It usually goes something like this: "Here on the classic rock station we don't make you wait for your classic rock, (insert kickass song intro now) we play them right now all the time" (stop song intro) This drives me insane. Here I am getting all excited because something awesome is coming on (usually one of my classic listed songs) but then they stop it. This is akin to the girl that you took on a date and would suck a nice steak dinner out of you (plus a movie) then give you a kiss on the cheek and go home at 10. (so I've heard, I personally have no experience in this department, but living in a fraternity house in college led to a lot of stories...back to my rant) So, radio stations are on my short list now too.

This goes for my sports station too. It's like they have a 20 minute repeat on their commercials so I hear the same freaking things over and over and over. No, I'm not interested in signing up for ESPN plus to hear my favorite radio shows on my schedule. No, I'm not interested in signing up for an ESPN mobile phone so I can get continuous sports updates. Can you just shut up and do some sports stuff? If I wanted to be spammed all the time I'd go through my Yahoo account.

Another thing, why do women (and some men) wear clothing that they have absolutely no business ever considering? I don't mind a short pair of shorts or crop top on a lady, but not when you are pushing 2 or 3 bills. How can these people look in the mirror and not see what they look like? That's what I don't understand. Men, if you have even a partially inflated spare tire around your midsection men, you need a shirt on when you are mowing the lawn. This rule even applies to people in the pool. I can live with more skin in this type of situation because I'm kind of prepared for it. But no man looks good in a banana hammock (speedo for those not in on the lingo). Nobody. They should not be allowed. In fact, I would go so far as to say that no women looks good in a string bikini. That is just too much skin. I'm a rather portly person and I know how to dress for my body so that I'm not wearing things that just look horrible on me. This applies to people who wear clothing that is in style but doesn't fit their body type. Like the low rider jeans. Those do nothing but make your butt look bigger. You could be a size 0 and those things are going to make your butt look bigger.

Short rants
Why are my cordless drill batteries always dead when I need them? How does this happen? Is there some elf who uses it when I'm not using it?

Why do people feel it necessary to take reading material into the bathroom stalls when they are at work? Are you kidding me? If you want to do that at home, cool, that's your business, but why would you want to do that at work? And how comfortable to you have to be at work to do that?

Why is it when I call my credit card company they try to sell me 5 extra things when all I wanted to tell them was that I wanted to update my address or ask a question? No I don't need credit protector or life protector or extra cards or a new account or a CD or a membership in the book of the month club. Just let me do my thing and shut up!!! And I don't want to have to strain over my kids screaming to make out every syllable so I can understand you on the phone. You are supposed to be serving me! It's customer service!!

Last thing, my list of best classic songs of all time was shockingly incomplete. So, for now I'm pulling my list on account of me being a moron. Thank you.

I feel better.
FGLB